I Just Want You to Know Who I Am
by Elosion12
Summary: Bella's been alone for two years. Her life has gone to hell. When a person from her past reappears, can he help her become the Bella he once knew?
1. Chapter 1

I inhaled the smoke deeply, revelling in the high of the meth. I exhaled and the smoke floated up towards the ceiling. Life hasn't been easy since that jackass left me. It's been two years and my life has gone to hell.

Charlie passed away on my nineteenth birthday, he had a heart attack while we were at dinner. After the funeral, I left Forks and moved back to Pheonix. I've been living in a small one room apartment sponsored by my...friend, Jax. The deal between me and Jax is that I work for him four nights a week and in exchange he pays for the meth and rent. He gets seventy percent of my profit and I get twenty. It doesn't bother me that much, I don't have a very big appetite. I never did and since I started the meth I hardly ever eat.

_Remember those walls I built?  
Well baby they're tumblin' down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make a sound_

Beyonce's Halo chimed from my cell phone, Jax's ringtone.

I lifted the phone to my ear and hit answer. "Whada ya need, Jax?"

"Bella, you were supposed to work on South Main last night. You didn't show." He was angry, this was the third time I hadn't shown up for work.

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. I lost track of time. Won't happen again."

"It better not. If it does you'll be out of a sponsor."

My breath caught in my throat and I coughed on the acidic smoke. "Jax, you can't be serious!"

"I'm very serious, Bella. You've been slacking lately. Get your shit together or else."

"Alright, alright. Do you want me to work tonight?"

He cleared his throat as a female giggled in the back. I heard a shuffling and fainlty a '_Shh. Daisy you gotta be quiet_!' There was another shuffling and then the noise of Jax clearing his throat. "Yeah. Cover for Daisy. She covered for you last night so you gotta repay. She was supposed to do King tonight. Cover King. Ten to six."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, sure. Wait, Ten to _six_? Jax, I can't I-"

"Oh well. Get to work, Bella. No excuses."

The line went dead and I stared at the clock. It read eight-thirty. Shit.

I jumped off my bed, disoriented from the drugs, and ran to my closet. There was a Striped Shimmer Tube Dress from Forever 21 so I slipped that on along with a pair of cracked metallic heels. After striaghtening my newly dyed auburn brown hair, I applied some mascara and silver eyeshadow and bounded out the door.

Luckily, King wasn't far from my house. Only about a block.

As I walked to work, a car pulled up beside me, a customer probably. He wound down his window and stopped by the curb. "Hey, sexy. You workin' tonight?"

I smirked and approached the gentleman, bracing myself on his door. "I most certainly am. Would you like some company? You look awful lonely."

He smiled and gestured to the passenger door. "Come on in." I worked my way around his hood and hopped in his car. He drove to an empty parking lot and cut the engine. "So, how much to you charge?"

"Two-fifty an hour."

Instead of pulling out a wallet, he pulled out a badge. "Miss, I'm Officer Jones with the Seattle Police Department. I'm going to have to arrest you with charges of prositution."

My heart began to pound in my chest. "What the hell?"

He stepped out of the car and I followed suit. "Ma'am, put your hands behind your head." I did as he said and I felt cool metal make contact with my wrists.

I could not believe this.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, you!" I reached through the prison bars at the police officer who was walking by. He stopped and turned to me. "I've been in here for _hours_. When do I get my phone call?"

The officer looked me up and down and then looked around the station, I was the only one locked up for the night. "Alright." He approached the door and unlocked it, it swung open and I stepped out. "Two calls." He escorted me to the pay phone and went to sit at his desk.

I dialed Jax's number, he picked up on the fourth ring. "Bella, I had a supervisor go by King. They couldn't find you. Didn't I _just_ warn you about what would happen?"

"No, Jax, it's not like that! I got busted. I'm in jail for the night. I need you to come pick me up."

He laughed. "Sorry, Bella. I only do favors for _employees_." He hung up the phone before I could respond.

I cursed under my breath and grabbed the phone book. Maybe I could find Jacob. I skimmed through the La Push/Forks area but found no Jacob Black, Billy Black, or Billy & Jacob Black. I searched through the rest of the J names, searching for Jared, but instead the name 'Jasper W. Hale' jumped off the page.

I sighed. I really didn't want to resort to calling Jasper but it was either that or spend the night in jail. I dialed the listed number and it went to voicemail. "This Is Jasper Whitlock Hale, I'm not here right now but I'll call ya back. Bye."

A beep signalled I could begin my message. "Um, hey, Jasper, this is Bella...Bella Swan. I got myself thrown in jail for the night and I need someone to come pick me up and I couldn't get a hold of anyone else, so...yeah. Bye."

I hung up the phone and walked back to my cell where the cop locked me up and I fell asleep on the hard, metal bench, hoping that Jasper would get my message."

* * *

"Hey, lady!" I was jolted awake by the police opening the door to my cell. "You're free to go, your buddy here paid bail."

Jasper appeared around the corner and I smiled. I rushed out of the cell and approached Jasper slowly. "Hey, Jasper." He nodded and turned to walk outside, I followed him. "Thank you," I mumbled when we were outside the station. It was still dark out, so I guessed it to be about four.

He turned to me, his face solemn. "No problem. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He sniffed the air and took a step closer to me. "What?"

He sniffed again. "What's that smell?" Uh oh, the drugs. "It's putrid."

"Uh, I..." He could feel my discomfort so he backed up a little.

"Are you high?" Fuck. "You are, aren't you?" I nodded shortly. "Bella, why?"

"They make me happy. They make the pain go away..." I trailed off as the need for the meth began to kick in. "I need it."

He shook his head. "No, Bella, you don't need it. Come on, let me take you home." My heart ached when he said home. "You do own a home, right?"

I shook my heaad as tears began to form in my eyes. "My...friend was paying rent for me and he just...fired me."

"You're a hooker?!" Jasper's astonishment was noticable, I could feel the shock. "Bella, what happened?"

"I needed money! To pay for the drugs! Alright? I know I'm fucked up, you don't have to remind me!" I covered my face with my hands and began to cry.

Jasper approached me slowly and took me in his arms. "Oh, Bella. What did he do to you?" I sobbed and he rubbed small circles on my back. "I'll take you back to my place. You can crash with me for the night. Okay?" I nodded and he walked me to his car where he opened the passenger door and closed it behind me.

We drove to his house and he opened the door for me again. He escorted me through his house to my new room and gave me a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt to change into. "Thank you, Jasper. Can I ask you something?"

He was about to walk out of the room but stopped and turned to me. "Sure. What is it?"

My fingers began to fidget and toy with the old t shirt I hled in my hands. "Um, could you run to my apartment and get me the old shoebox from under the bed?"

"Why? What's in it?"

My eyes studied the floor, I couldn't look at him. "Things."

He sighed. "Bella, no. I'm not getting your drugs for you."

My head shot up. "Please, Jasper! I need them!"

He shook his head. "No Bella, you don't."

I dropped the clothes and grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt. "Please!"

His eyes were sad but he still shook his head. I cried and sunk to the floor. "Bella, I'm going to help you. You're going yo break your addiction. You can do this."

I looked into his eyes and for the first time, I thought he was right. Maybe I could do this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys! I know A/Ns are really annoying but I want to clarify some things.**

**Yes, Jasper is a vampire.**

**I will always keep the facts the same as they are in the books. I might add my own spice, but everything that has happened up until Edward leaves in New Moon has happened in here.**

**If you guys have any suggestions on what you would like to see happen, you can leave a review or PM me. I check my reviews more though.**

**Well, that's it for now. Here's Chapter 3!**

* * *

Withdrawal was _hell_. My body yearned for the drugs badly, I even tried to walk to my old apartment one time but Jasper, with him being a vampire and everything, caught me and held me captive easily.

I sat on the brown, leather sofa in Jasper's living room with my knees gathered against my chest. My eyes wandered, focusing on nothing particular as I tried to ignore the longing for my methamphetamine. As I rocked back and forth slowly, I thought about the past twenty-four hours.

I had lost my job and was now unemployed. Well, I had my other job, but jasper made me quit after I told him that I was a stripper.

I had, by some miracle, contacted my vampire exboyfriend's adoptive brother.

And, this was the most dramatic of all the events, I had quit smoking meth. Cold turkey.

My lungs began to beg for air even though they were receiving plenty. I grabbed at my chest, fighting for breath. "Jasper..." My lips formed his name but I didn't hear anything.

He rushed into the room and enveloped me in his arms. "Bella, calm down." I continued to gasp, I was beginning to get light headed. "Bella, you're going to be okay."

My vision blurred as the anxiety attack continued. Jasper cursed under his breath and pressed his lips to mine. My lungs expanded as Jasper breathed for me, just one breath, but the sudden jolt of electricity that I felt calmed my hysterics as well. He pulled away slowly, so he wouldn't startle me again. He slowly unwound his hands from around me and relaxed me against the sofa. I blinked in rapid succession to clear the haze and when I looked to Jasper, his eyes were pitch black and he looked at me hungrily. He took half a step in my direction, fueled by his animalistic needs. "Jasper," He covered the three foot space between us in seconds and was on top of me in an instant. I screamed. "Jasper, stop! It's me, it's Bella!" I struggled beneath him, my heart thudded in my ears. He grabbed my hands and pinned them down, growling as I fought him. He looked into my eyes, his were pure black. His lips were pulled back and away from his teeth in a snarl. Mmy brave side took over then. "Jasper Hale! It's me, Isabella!" He growled again, it didn't effect him. "Jasper, listen to me!" He hissed. Fuck. He was going to kill me.

He read the fear in my expression because he laughed animalisticly. "Run, Bella."

He didn't have to tell me twice! I sprinted down the hall, terrified of Jasper. He appeared before me in an instant and I nearly lost my balance trying to stop short of running into him. He stalked me, forcing me backwards. I stopped running and did the simplest, yet dumbest thing ever.

I grabbed the glass of water off the coffee table and splashed it on him. He didn't react. Of course. To him, the water was probably luke warm. "Jasper, listen to me. You don't have to do this! You can control it!" He stopped for a moment. "Yes! Jasper, it's Bella, your friend. Can you hear me?" He stared at me with his cold, hard, black eyes trying to comprehend. "Jasper." I slowly approached him, intending to confront his inner demon. "Jasper Whitlock Hale, I know you can hear me. _Fight it_. Fight the temptation. You can do this." I grabbed his hand for comfort and gave a hard squeeze which probably seemed slight to him.

His eyes slowly faded from pitch black to a burnt yellow. "Bella...?" I stepped back a little. His reactions caught up with his coherent mind and he looked shocked for a moment before he mumbled 'I'm sorry' and sprinted from the house.

* * *

After about an hour, Jasper returned. He didn't talk to me or look at me, just sat down beside me on the sofa. I waited for him to speak first, I didn't want to catch him in a foul mood. He sighed. "Bella, look, I'm sorry. I-"

I cut him off by holding up a hand. "It's alright, Jasper. You didn't hurt me."

"No, but I intended to! And then you try to fight me off! Are you mad?" He propped his elbows on his knees and grabbed his hair.

I shrugged. "Maybe. I just wanted you to stop."

He shook his head. "God, Bella, I'm sorry."

I inched closer to him. "Jasper, you have nothing apologize for! If anything, _I _should be the one apologizing." He lifted his head from his hands to stare at me, questioningly. "I had a panic attack, you were just trying to help me. Don't blame yourself."

He turned to me. "Bella, you can't help it. I've made you quit cold turkey, it's hard. I expected you to have an anxiety attack." He laid a hand on my shoulder but as he stared at his hand his eyes darkened and he removed it quickly.

I sighed. He couldn't even touch me without the bloodlust irritatiing him. I got to my feet quickly and bounded for the door. Jasper was in my path in an instant. "Jasper, move." My tone was demanding. I wanted to leave. "_Please_." I couldn't be in this house right now, I needed to breathe, I needed space. Noticing that it was discomfort and not a yearning for drugs I was feeling, he let me pass.

I left the house and walked to the corner coffee shop where I ordered a double shot espresso and took a seat at a nearby table. About five minutes passed and a familiar shape apporached me. I looked up and Jax stared down on me. "Jax, I..." He took a seat across from me, his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed together. He was clearly pisssed.

I had the 'pleasure' of meeting Jax at a shopping mall in Port Angeles, he was 'waiting for a friend'. Aka, he was looking for some new mechandise. He found me and got me hooked on meth.

His green eyes burned into mine as he drummed his fingers on the table across from me. Jax was a good-looking guy, his ego was just too big. His bacl hair was cut short and his nose was crooked slightly to the left. I figured he broke his nose as a kid. He huffed. "Bella, I'm disappointed. You should be able to handle yourself. I thought you were smart enough when to recognize an undercover cop."

I shrugged. "Guess I'm not." My fingers itched to have something between them. Anything. I fidgeted with my napkin and Jax watched my hands intently.

"You okay? You seem anxious." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, placing it between his lips, inhaling, and then blowing the smoke into my face.

I stared at his cigarette, craving the acid. The smog in my lungs. "Can I...have some?"

He looked to the cigarette and then back at me. "This?" I nodded. "Oh, you don't want this ole junk! It's just tobacco." He rumaged through his pockets, pulled out a small case, and sat it on the table. It looked like it would hold a pipe or something of the size but I knew better. "You want this." My hand, by its own will, took ahold of the case and gripped it tightly. "Don't open it yet, though."

I thought about what he just said. _"You don't want this ole junk!"_ Junk. There was heroin in this case.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey people! I just wanted to tell you that I have a poll up on my page. I want to see what you guys think of one of my other stories, "Starting Anew".**

**You guys are awesome! Thanks for all the reviews. Keep it up!**

* * *

My heart raced. I stuttered, trying to find words. "Jax, are you sure? I mean-"

"Bella, its junk. Yes, I'm sure. Do you want your job back? Your house?" I nodded vigorously. "Then take it and show up for work tomorrow night at ten. Last chance, Bella." He got up from the table and walked away.

I sat there for a moment, thinking about my options. I could take ditch Jasper, take the heroin, and then ask Jax to buy me a new home. The upsides were that it would curb my craving and I wouldn't have any more panic attacks. I would have a home and a job again.

Bad things were that it was another drug. I would lose Jasper's trust and he wouldn't help me if I asked him again.

Slowly, I rose from the table and walked back to Jasper's house, ready to hide any and all emotions. I expected Jasper to be waiting for me on the living room sofa, but instead, he left a note.

_Bella,_

_Had to go hunting again. I need to be more careful. I'll be back shortly._

_Jasper._

I sighed, relieved that I wouldn't have to hide the heroin from him. Not for now anyway.

I rushed to the bathroom where I opened the case. Inside sat a sterile syringe and enough heroin to hold me for three days. There was some heroin already in the syringe. I lifted the syringe out of the case with shaky hands and slowly aimed it at the vein on the inside of my elbow. I prodded at the skin with the needle gently, my skin gave way and the needle delved into my arm.

I injected the drug into my arm and almost instantly, my body was afloat. Incredible. The entire dose wasn't even in my arm yet. I injected the rest of the dosage and dragged myself to the spare room I was currently calling mine. I collapsed onto the bed as reality vanished and I began to float. Visions danced in front of me, bright and colorful. Though I knew I was potentially killing myself, I didn't care.

I heard the front door slam after what seemed like about three seconds. Though it was more likely to be something like four or five hours. The bedroom door flew open and a shadow approached me. I sat up and smiled at Jasper who was hovering in the doorway. "Hey Jasper," I smiled. "How was hunting?"

He smiled half heartedly. "Alright. You okay now?" I nodded, my high didn't make me disoriented like I thought it would, I was actually very coordinated, and, this was weird, very horny.

"Jasper, come sit down." I patted the bed beside me. He joined me and before he could get situated, I attacked him. I crushed my lips to his, eager for the spark that I felt earlier in the day. He was shocked and his hands flew up to push me away but I let loose of all my feelings, my lust for him and he gave in for an instant, letting a small moan escape his mouth before he pulled away and backed to the other side of the room.

He wiped his lips. "Bella, what the hell?" He studied my face and saw the answer. "Oh, fuck. Bella, you're high again. What did you take?"

I smiled lazily and laid on the bed. "Nothin' but _junk_!"

I heard him gasp. "Bella, where the _hell_ did you get heroin? Did you see Jax again?" I sighed contently. "Fuck, Bella. Dammit." He walked over to me and laid a hand on my arm. "I'm sorry." That was the last thing I heard before I was coaxed into unconciousness.


	5. This is Very Important!

**I apologize for the readers who had their hope smashed when they found this A/N in place of the next chapter of one of my stories but I'm here to tell you that I'm going to start cleaning up. Which means, I'm going to stop starting random stories and work on the ones I have currently. Currently, I have nine stories. I haven't worked on some of them in forever and it annoys me.**

**So here's my plan.**

**On my profile, there is a poll. The question is "Which story should I update and work on first and foremost?" There are eight options. I did not put my story "A Perfectly Good Heart No More" as an option because it is on hiatus until I get around to redoing the entire story. Every other story is an option in the poll and you can only pick one.**

**Based on the poll, these will be the results:**

**The two stories with the most votes will be my primary projects.**

**All other stories will be put on hiatus until further notice.**

**If any story recieves zero votes it will be DELETED FROM FANFICTION. Although I wouldn't want to do that to something that I put a lot of work into, if it happens I will. There's no telling if I might republish it with a different name.**

**Thank you for understanding and helping me set my priorities.**

**Elosion12**


	6. This is Very Important! Part II

**Hello again, my readers!**

**Well, the results are in! I have closed the poll and I will now announce which two stories will become priorities.**

**In first place is "Starting Anew"**

**In second place is "Addicted to You"**

**And I am happy to say that NONE of my stories received zero votes. Therefore, none will be deleted! Yay!**

**Now, the other six stories are on hiatus until I feel that "Starting Anew" and "Addicted to You" are updated enough to my liking. I will then start updating the others, in sets of two.**

**In third place is "I Just Want You to Know Who I Am"**

**Fourth is "The Few, The Proud, The Marines"**

**In fifth is "Dear Edward"**

**In sixth place is "Assassin's Creed: Twilight"**

**In seventh is "A Hole of Darkness"**

**And in eighth place is "His Majesty is Found At Last"**

**So, that's that. I will start writing the next chapters now and will post them as soon as I can.**

**Elosion12**


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